


Realizations

by twijfelaar



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Finn is force sensitive, Gen, pre Finn/Rey, short fic, tumblr drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5804023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twijfelaar/pseuds/twijfelaar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some realizations Finn has during his attempts at meditation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realizations

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how Jedi training works. Just go with it alright!

The first thing Finn realizes when he is training with Rey and Luke Skywalker is that meditation is hard. He is not calm, his mind wanders to tasks he could be doing, people he could be helping. He knows he is supposed to be here, he just not feels productive and deep down fears he will get punished for it. 

The second thing he realizes is that Rey finds it difficult as well and most times they end up awkwardly sitting next to each other, peeking at each other to see if the other one has managed to get into a deep trance state. Like Luke Skywalker. Who is sitting in front of them, eyes closed, hands folded on his legs and deeply breathing in and out. 

Third thing he realizes is that when Rey does try, her face falls slack and it loses her expressiveness and it weirds Finn out, but then she slowly peeks through one eye and sees him staring and grins and she is Rey again. 

Fourth thing he realizes is when he tries meditation but can’t seem to focus and peeks he always sees Rey staring at him. She will turn red in her face and close her eyes and Finn will lose all concentration for the remaining time used for meditation. Finn does not mind.

The fifth thing he realizes is that when mediation becomes especially boring Rey will slowly move towards him, just a few inches ever few minutes until their knees are touching. 

The sixth thing he realizes is that he loves it when Rey touches him, when she seeks out contact even if it is just their knees touching and it will make him warm in the face.

The seventh thing he realizes is that mediation actually is easier when their knees touch. He feels grounded by the touch but also gets a calmness from it that he has not felt before, or maybe he has and he cannot remember. 

The eight thing he realizes is that meditation brings back memories. Memories he had forgotten, which had been repressed. Of his mother and father. His mother working late in her office while he is drawing and his father in the other room singing.

The ninth thing he realizes is that his mother has beautiful eyes, and he shares them with her. He has his father’s nose and gets the color from his skin from both of them.

The tenth thing he realizes is that he sometimes does not want to leave his memories behind. He wants to stay in his mother’s office and keep drawing. Watch his mother work, sign documents. He keeps waiting for his father to walk in. To see him and not just know him from the pictures on his mother's desk.

The eleventh thing he realizes is that he is not alone in his memories. Rey has joined him and they stare at his mother.

“She is beautiful.”

Finn can’t help but agree.

They share his memory when they are supposed to be meditating and the first time he follows Rey instead of his own he is surprised by her memory. They are on a island, with sea all around them. The waves softly crashing into the coast and there are some birds in the air. They just sit in silence, knees touching and eyes closed.

The twelfth thing Finn realizes is that he can feel the force know. Not just when he is meditating but when he is awake. He feels it when he is walking to training, he feels people, breathing, living, loving. 

The thirteenth thing Finn realizes is that he has so much still too learn. That his list will never be finished and he doesn’t want it too. But he wants to experience it with Rey. He feels stronger when he is with her and she feels stronger when she is with him.

Finn peeks through one eye and sees Rey do the same. They smile at each other.

“There is time for that later young padawans. First you have to meditate.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr! Same username as I am using here.


End file.
